I feel the need to open my heart and share a lesson God shared with me. For years, I have fought low self-esteem and a poor body image. Having family members tell me that I need to lose weight has never helped. I would love to lose weight but because of dislocating knees, I have always been very limited. Allergies prevented me from wearing most braces for years because they contained latex. Because of many numerous health issues, I have repeatedly been placed on various steroids and other medications, which cause weight gain and bloating. Now, because of the swallowing and stomach issues, I am not able to eat most fruits and vegetables and higher fiber grain breads that are healthier for my body. I crave them and miss them immensely.
Today, I received a rude comment on my profile picture on Facebook from someone I don't know. I removed the comment because I don't need the drama. Basically, this stranger told me I needed to lose weight so my nurse could find my veins. My nurse was insulted on my behalf and confirmed what I knew: Losing weight would not guarantee that my veins would hold. be deep, or not roll.
Before I began to see myself through God's eyes: a daughter of the One True King, whose love is not conditional on my outward appearance but upon the inner beauty of my heart and soul, I would have been extremely upset by such an insensitive comment. Now, I can see how far God has brought me. I am confident of who I am in Him. While I would love to lose weight, I know that these infusions come with heavy doses of prednisone and my stomach issues will never go away. Instead of fretting upon what everyone's ideal of beautiful is, I have learned to let go and trust God right here in this moment.
What I learned is that His love is more than enough! His grace far exceeds sufficient! Resting in His grace places my heart at peace and my life is filled with His joy rather than doubt.
If you struggle with self-image, if someone has told you you aren't good enough, if you think you are unworthy of love, I want you to know that there is One whose love is so deep, so wide, so high, and so far that it knows no end. He sees your worth through eyes of unconditional love: right where you are at this exact moment, just as you are: flaw and all. He is the only One who can fill that hole, that void that feels like it needs approval and love. My sweet Momma can attest that it took years and many prayers for me to reach this point but the contentment His love brings is such a priceless treasure! Know that I am praying for you to feel that love, that worth, that peace, dear one!
Mirror by Barlow Girl
Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath